Be careful about the words you use to talk to our children and others. Have you even been hurt by the careless words someone said to you. Imagine that it was someone you idealized and wanted to be like and that person insinuated that you just don’t measure up to expectations. That is what your child goes through when you let him or her know you are disappointed in them. I found an article that gives good tips on how to talk about things without sending destructive messages. I could try to say the same things but I am not a family counselor. As I expounded before, your words as a parent can influence your child’s mental health.
Communication is so important
Keep communication lines open between parent and child. Studies have shown that despite all outside influences, parents till have the greatest influence on their child’s morals and decisions. Try to stay aware of what is going on in your child’s life. Ask questions but avoid judgement. Answer a question with another question to stimulate thought and to clarify what the child really wants to learn. There is a story that illustrates this need. A child asked, “Where did I come from?” The parent launches into information about sex education. After awhile the child replies, “Yes but where did I come from. My friend is from Minnesota.”
There has been a recent increase in suicide among teens. There is also more sexual abuse. We can blame a lot of this on social media. For parents it means we have to be more involved in our child’s life even if it seems like spying or interfering. We need to know what the child in taking part in and who he/she is talking to on line. We need to talk to a child in advance about drugs, bullying, child grooming ( for sexual abuse), and messages on line and anywhere that can lead to these kinds of problems. Another story from my community. A boy was bullied by peers in his school telling him he had to do something or he was worthless and should die. He took his own life. It is hard to combat these influences but we must stay close and plugged in.